Wednesday, February 20, 2008

For the LOVE of LYING

I know , It can start better than this . ---I mean this Blog post. It surely can start better than a "It can start better than this". Well to tell you the truth (if you are still clinging on) I dont intend to be honest at all with you, for four reasons:

1. Yeah Honesty pays, but you wont pay me anyway for what I tell you, unless I am a Lawyer(We all know how honest lawyers are)

2. Honesty is the best policy, only if you have been honest all along.

3. You know , you dont want to know the truth about what I think of you.

Thats it! Yeah , I know I said four reasons, but who told you I was honest?

In my opinion (This blog is the only place where that counts) honesty , truthfulness and pain are three sides of the same coin. (Since when did coins start having three sides?) , what i mean is being truthful is fine as long as you dont pain anybody. This is very close to the old adage that says 'Lying is fine as long as it doesn't hurt anybody' , but what I am saying is that its OK to say the truth as long as you dont hurt anybody,but between hurting somebody and lying to keep that person happy, I think the latter pays! (More handsomely than honesty , trust me!)

If you have a conscience, and you don't use it enough you might end up without one after sometime. But if you have an imagination and you dont use it enough you are wasting a resource which God has made available to make others happy! Between the Domains of Truth and lie, there is the vast and ambigious domain of the White lie. White lies are useful tools for imaginative individuals who still haven't sold off their consciences.

Cliched lies are lies which you hear everwhere, you know they are lies and still cant do anything about it. Imaginative lies are colorful peices of intelligence, that the listener is confused on whether it is a lie at all.

Please find out below how a cliched lie differs from an imaginative one. The imaginative ones are colored blue while the cliched ones are not.

Boss to his Employees "Sorry I am late, My tyres went Flat"

Boss to his Employees "I think we have to reschedule this meeting to afternoon as the customer who is with me since morning might finalise an important order"

Husband to Wife "Wow, you've reduced weight"

Husband to Wife "Have you been dieting? your clothes we bought last month might not fit you anymore"

3. Primary school Student to teacher " Stomach ache"

Primary school Student to teacher " The Cat ate my homework and I was trying to make him shit"

4. High school student to teacher " Cousin's marriage"

High school student to teacher " My cousin eloped with the taxi driver and I was at the detective's office explaining evidence"

5 College student to teacher " Grandfather Died"

College student to teacher "Grandfather was making his WILL, and he demanded my presence if I had to inherit his coffee estate"

6 Patient to doctor " I smoke occasionally"

Patient to doctor " I dont smoke,but I have a split peronality and I dont know if my alter ego smokes"

Sadly enough the number of Imaginative liars are dying in this ever increasing competitive world. Nobody has time to cook up lies. So dear pals I request you to proactively pursue lying for the sake of lying. For the pure LOVE of LYING. For LYING is the only thing that'll last till the end of the world. Or may be beyond!!!



3 comments:

Unknown said...

Hilarious

Hari said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hari said...

Lies never lie down